The Story of My Singleness

With the holidays comes friends, family, gifts, Santa Claus, Christmas trees, egg nog, lights, cookies, mistletoe, parties, and if you're a girl in your mid to late 20's in a serious relationship comes engagements. I don't know how many news feeds I read on my facebook that had engagement announcements or photos of diamond rings. Don't get me wrong, I am extremely happy for all of my friends that got a little square box for Christmas, but you gotta see it my way. These engagements puts a lot of pressure on a still single girl like me. My family thinks that I might grow up to be a cat lady, die an old maid, or even that I might like girls! First of all, I don't like cats, if anything I'm gonna be a dog lady. Secondly, have you seen my mess of a bedroom? I am far from being any kind of maid! And most importantly, I love guys. Since I was in pre-school, I've always been a little boy crazy. No matter how many assholes I may meet, none of them could ever turn me to lesbianism. What's even worse is that my grandmother is telling her nurse that I was supposed to be engaged over Christmas.

So Still Single Stella has something to say about herself not settling down. I'm not against getting married at all. One day I will get married and have kids with a house with a backyard and a white picket fence(okay so I might already have my fence, it might be at a rented house and need some paint, but by golly I got my picket fence!) To be honest, I wouldn't mind being in a relationship. It's been a LOOOONNNNGGG time since I've been in one and it would be nice to have someone to cuddle with on a cold New York night, someone to call to help get my car out of the snow, someone to kick it with out on the dance floor, someone I can add to my fb page as being "in a relationship with..."(haha sorry I had to add that). And the truth is, if I really needed to be in a relationship, I'm pretty sure I could be. I don't want to come across arrogant or stuck up, but I'm a picky person. I don't just settle down just because I want to be in a relationship and won't date the first guy that comes along. If I don't feel something for a person, I'm not going to waste my time. At the same time though, I tend to still waste my time. I waste my time being attracted to the wrong guys or having bad timing. Sure, I've been in a couple relationships where the guy wasn't wrong at all, just not a good time in my life for me to have settled down.

Another fact about this single girl: I am boy-illiterate. I don't know how to read them. When ever I'm in to a guy I seem to play it cool on the outside, but on the inside my brain is scrambling with thoughts of: Is he in to me? Is he in to someone else? Is he a good guy? Should I text him? Should I wait for him to call? And when I actually end up going out on a real date with a guy, these are the thoughts that cross my mind:
Is he going to pick me up or should I meet him there? Where are we going? What should I wear? Casual or dressy? What should I order? If I order that will it be too messy? Should I order a drink? Am I talking too much? Why did I just say that? Do I have food in my teeth? Am I drinking too much? Should I offer to pay my half of the bill? Do we kiss goodbye? Do I offer him a drink inside? Are we going to see each other again? Should I text him or wait for him to text me?
Stella+Dating=awkward.

I have also chosen a different route for my life. I've spent time traveling and moving, not really having a life to be able to settle down. I've chosen my career, my independence, my love for travel, excitement, and spontaneity.

So for those of you who wonder why a girl like me is still single, this is it. That's the story of my singleness. Mystery solved.