The other day, my roommate and I were discussing how we couldn't keep a guy longer than 3 weeks, give or take. We talked about why this was, what do we do to drive guys away or what makes us back away from a good guy. This got me thinking of all the reasons or excuses I've been dealt or come up with when I've been broken up with or had a guy stray away from me.
I'm actually pretty good when it comes to knowing if a guy just isn't that into me. Being 28, only having enough boyfriends to fill 1 hand but having dated(dating, talking to, seeing, courting, whatever you people call it now a days, but I'm not talking about "sleeping with" because I'm definitely not that girl) enough guys to have my own professional football team, I'd say I'm a professional single girl and have years of experience dealing with douchebags and being shot down. Trust me, I've seen the movie and read the book(actually I own both and sometimes refer back to them when I find myself giving excuses) but if he's not calling or texting you, wanting to hang out or see you, then ladies he's just not that into you. It's simple. But the one thing that gets me and drives me crazy is the why. Why is he just not that into you? What the hell happened?
When break ups happen within real relationships, you usually get an answer of what happened, but when you're just dating a guy and they don't want to move any further, they can just walk away with no answers. It's easier that way, no confrontation, no conflict, just stop all contact and move on to the next one. I know it's easy because I'm guilty of this move. If I'm just not that into someone, I'm not gonna waste my time in continuing the communication and hanging out. It may be easy for the person that's just not that into you, but what about the one left behind?
One minute he's making you dinner and playing Frank Sinatra for you and 3 days later you have yet to hear from him as you're sitting at a bar by yourself sending him drunk text messages written in third person (true story). Okay, so maybe that was a bad example, but my point is this, how is it that one minute things are looking good between you and your maybe in the near future beau, you're hanging out and talking a lot, beginning to feel comfortable and then all of a sudden you're left dumbfounded because you haven't received a call or text in the last few days. You're left looking at your phone and wondering if maybe something is wrong with your Blackberry(turn it off then back on, still nothing) or maybe Verizon is doing some kind of work on the network(damn you Verizon!) or maybe there was some kind of freak accident with a space shuttle and it hit the exact satellite that gives your phone service and now your phone is just this useless object so you might as well throw it across the room. Or maybe he lost his phone and doesn't have your number to contact you. That's it! Or he hit his head really hard at work and now he has amnesia and doesn't even remember you. Maybe a pack of aliens came down in their UFO and are now sticking weird objects into his belly button. Either that, or something happened to make him just not that into you anymore.
It's one big mystery. You just want to hire a detective to investigate. Or call that guy on Unsolved Mysteries, your story would make for an awesome episode! Wait, forget Unsolved Mysteries, it would make for a great Lifetime movie. You think I could I get Kate Bosworth to play me? More than likely, you're not gonna have your mystery solved. If you're a girl, you're going to over analyze the whole so called almost relationship and come up with things like, maybe I talked too much about myself or maybe he doesn't like blonds or maybe he thought I was too good for him. That's it, you are just too good for him, that douchebag! You weren't really into him anyways, right? The thing is you're never going to get the real answer, unless you're friends with his friends and find out that way or maybe grow the balls to ask him for yourself. A little liquid courage sometimes helps make those balls grow.
When I'm stuck in this situation(which happens more than I would like), there's a part of me that wants to say just leave it be. Gather my chips and cash in my winnings because it's over. Another one bites the dust. It is what it is. We had a good run. It's on to the next one. But then there's the crazy girl part of me that's like WTF? What is wrong with me? What did I do? What did I say? And I don't stop asking myself these questions until I get the answers. And on the rare times that I actually do get these answers, they are sometimes the answers I thought they were. And then sometimes they are the answers I didn't want to hear. But the only thing you can do is use these realizations you've encountered to help with the next person you come across.
A few words of advice when your crazy girl part wants to take over. Clear your head(easier said than done, right?) Go for a run while listening to your IPod until your head is clear of all the insanity, it's good for your thoughts and for your body. Go to dinner with your girlfriends and talk it all out of you. It's sometimes good to get more opinions and girls love to compliment their troubled friends so it will boost your self esteem. Go out for a few drinks with your girlfriends and flirt with some hotties, but don't over drink! No matter how many times I've done this and think the more I drink the less I can think, you're more than likely going to run into Mr. He's Just Not That Into You and make a fool of yourself, send him drunken texts that will leave you waking up the next day to not even wanting to look at your phone let alone see what you wrote, or you'll just sit at the bar and throw yourself a pity party. Or you can always just write. Write it out. Write down every little thing. You learn a lot about yourself when you get it all out of you.
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