Greetings from New York

Along with a lot of other things I'm still trying to figure out about these New Yorkers up here, there's one thing that happens every time I go out or run into someone I know. When I first started meeting new people up here, I shook their hand, just like any other place in the United States. After the introduction and I saw the same people out again, they would lean in and kiss my cheek. Wait, what? Where am I? Did I move to Italy or France? Or is this person just getting fresh with me? After having this happen on every occasion I went out, I thought, damn these New Yorkers get a little too friendly! It's something I guess I have grown used to after living here for a year and a half. Actually, no, I still don't think I'm fully used to it. I still feel a bit awkward when a person leans in for a kiss on the cheek. I know I'm supposed to do the same and return the kiss on the cheek, but I seem to like to make it awkward. First I'm thinking, which cheek do I go for? Left? Right? I'm left handed and do everything backwards so I'm guessing right cheek? But what if that person is left handed too? Left cheek? I don't wanna make it anymore awkward and miss their cheek completely and hit their lips or nose or eye. Then they might get the wrong idea about us southern girls. So here we are, doing some kind of dance move with our heads straight off the episode of Saved By the Bell when Lisa sprained her ankle(you 80's babies know what I'm talking about and don't act like you've never done "The Sprain"). Then comes the kiss on the cheek part. Do I really kiss their cheek? Or do I just touch my lips to their cheek? Or do I just kinda make a kissy sound in their ear? And am I supposed to kiss the other cheek too? What happened to just an old fashion hug or a "hi" and a wave? Or my way of greeting a friend, a good ole half ass side hug. So if you're a New Yorker and you're reading this, don't stop with the "New York Greeting", I do like to embrace any culture I'm in, but be aware I'm probably not gonna be kissing back.

How Stella Lost Her Groove

As I inch closer to the age of 30, I've noticed something about myself that has definitely changed. I mean there's plenty that has changed since the beginning of my 20's including my slowing metabolism, not being able to have a crazy night out and then head in to work the next morning and be just fine, and having more bills I have to actually pay for myself out of my own pocket(no more help from mom and dad). I have also noticed a very important part of my early 20's, I have seemed to have lost something. I used to be Miss Play It Cool, don't chase after the guy let them chase after you, tell my girls when the going gets hard, play hard to get. These were my mottoes in life. Now I'm more Miss Pathetic, chase after guy and trip and fall while trying, when the going gets hard just get drunk and embarrass yourself. When it comes to dating, my mind now is always filled with doubt, uncertainty, insecurity. I have come to the conclusion that now, I, Stella Elizabeth Taylor, have lost my groove.

Lately, I've been letting my insecurities get the best of me. But honestly, what in life is secure? You can say that you have job security, but what happens when the economy goes down the drain or your company decides to close up shop? Is your job secure then? You could be secure with the way you look but then fall flat on your face and get a black eye. Would you be secure then? And what about relationships? A person could say they have a secure relationship one day and then the next their significant other could walk away and leave them for someone new. Hell, life isn't even secure. You could be driving down the road one minute and end up dead on the highway the next minute. Sorry to be graphic, but that's just life. Sure I know I'm a cute girl and I'm not talking about my insecurities with the way that I look, I'm talking about my insecurities within relationships and dating.

So where did these insecurities and uncertainties come from? How did I go from Miss Smooth Operator to Miss Doubtful? Like most characteristics of one's personality, you aren't just born with these, you develop them throughout life from values you are taught or things you experience. Experiences in life is what shapes who you are and who you become. David Beckham didn't just wake up one day as an awesome soccer player. It takes practice, experience through playing a many a games. A person's biggest fear usually isn't instilled in them at birth, you develop fear through experience. I didn't just say one day, "You know what, I think I'm gonna start being scared of birds from now on." I developed a fear of birds from a bad experience with a mama bird when I was younger. The mama bird had a nest in a tree in my front yard. Every time I walked outside, she would fly down and peck me on the head. After being terrorized by this mean mama, I decided to not use my front door anymore and would use the back door, walk all the way around to the front of my house and high tail it down the road before she could spot me. Another bad experience with birds happened about 3 years ago, I was laying by the pool and a seagull swooped down and shit on my leg. I've heard it's good luck to be crapped on by a bird, but I really don't see anything good about white poop on any part of my body. Now, anytime a bird gets near me, I get a little nervous or have a mini freak out. I don't like birds and probably never will due to these experiences.

When my insecurities and doubtfulness within relationships began, I could probably pin point my lowest of my low experience 2 years ago. At the time, I was so unbelievably happy with my then boyfriend. Although it was long distance(me being in Miami, him almost being Canadian) we made it work. We talked about me possibly moving up there, destination weddings, how many kids we wanted, we talked about it all because one of the most important things in a long distance relationship is talking and communicating and without it, there is no relationship. After giving up my free Southwest flight for him to come visit, an amazing weekend in the sun and rain on the Florida beaches, I wanted to be with him even more. After dropping him off at the airport, I was left at work waiting for his call or text after he arrived home. I received nothing. I texted him wondering if he made it home okay. He said he just had a bad day and wanted time for himself. I understood. A day went by, he wanted more time to himself. I understood. A week went by, no call, no text, nothing. I couldn't just sit there anymore waiting by my phone thinking everything was fine while my boyfriend that I couldn't see because of being over 1,000 miles away and that I was so used to talking to for hours on end each day did not call me. I finally gave in and contacted him. And that was the end of that. He was just in a different place, had too much on his plate, too busy, not ready to be so committed. I was left heartbroken, breaking into waterspouts at anything that reminded me of him. I was left with disappointment, doubt, and just plain sick to my stomach. How could something so good, something that I believed in and felt so secure with, end just like that? After this break up, I felt defeated, let down, and most importantly, insecure. It left me feeling doubtful about any other relationship I might have. It took longer for me to actually get over the relationship than the relationship actually lasted. Which brings me to another point of why I have seemed to have lost my groove.

I admit, with relationships and dating, I have been known to rush into things. My last relationship, the one I just discussed that left me so broken hearted, a mere 2 to 3 months. But to be fair, I'm fast at everything. At one point in high school, I was the fastest girl in my school. I ran track throughout high school and was a sprinter. Also, in previous posts, I discussed my lead foot syndrome. I drive fast, getting pulled over every once in a while. After getting tickets, I have slowed down a bit, but tend to forget about those tickets after a while. Plus, damn it, I'm gonna be late for work if I don't drive fast! Like my driving, I don't even know that I'm going too fast. I just go with the flow of traffic, go with what feels right for me. I wish there was a dating police out there to pull me over whenever I'm rushing into things to give me a ticket, or at least a warning. I mean I ain't from Russia, so why is I rushin'(they only want me for my pimp juice)?

Also, like I've mentioned in a previous post, I am boy-dyslexic. I don't know how to read them and the older I get, the less I understand them. And in my post "Unsolved Mysteries", I have said I am pretty good at figuring out if a guy is in to me or not. But just recently, I've been thrown for a loop. I can't figure it out. Sometimes I wish I were a kid again so I could write a note saying, "Do you like me? Check Yes or Check No" insert boxes by Yes and No and give it to my best friend to pass over to my crush. In this day in age, do they have an App for that? That could be very handy for all the ladies out there.

So how does Stella get her groove back? In the movie, Stella gets her groove back with a younger guy from Jamaica. I used to be a bit of a cougar and I am on an island, maybe not Jamaica, but it is an island. I think this Stella has yet to figure that one out though. For now, this Stella just needs to stop to smell the flowers New York is about to spring up, stop stressing out about every single little thing, learn how to play it cool again and not let the insecurities get the best of her. Easier said than done, right? I need to stop thinking that all birds are going to swoop down and peck me on the head, shit on me, or take off with my French fries and fly away. There are some birds out there that don't fly, right? Like the penguin. They're cuter than any of the other birds that can fly anyway.

Vegas Part 4

Since I have written about every trip I've taken to Vegas, I guess I better write about my last trip. But of course like my other postings of my Vegas trips, I will have to censor a little bit of my post. Not that what I did in Vegas was all that bad, there's just some things that happen in Vegas that just have to stay there.
This trip, my roommate Stephanie accompanied me. We stayed at the Hard Rock Hotel which was pretty baller. The first day, we spent walking the strip and of course shopping. We were basically winging our trip. We had an idea of what we wanted to do for our trip, but didn't really plan on anything. We were stopped in Caesar's and given wristbands for the club Pure so we figured we'd go there for our first night and see where the rest of the night took us. We ate lunch and decided to go back to our hotel to take a 2 hour power nap since we were a little jet lagged and we knew we would have a long night ahead of us. I didn't set an alarm because I usually wake up when I need to anyway and didn't think I would be sleeping that much since I was so excited to be back in Sin City. When I woke up, I looked at the hotel clock and it read 1:30am. I was so disoriented I thought the clock was on east coast time for some reason. I looked at my Blackberry and it read 4:30am. I was pretty pissed when I realized that we had actually slept through our first night in Vegas. Since Sin City never really sleeps, we could have gotten up and done something, but that meant we'd still have to shower and get ready and by that time it would have been really late. So we went back to sleep.
Our 2nd day consisted of the amazing Bellagio buffet, walking the strip, shopping, and getting stopped constantly by club promoters giving us passes and taking our numbers for things going on for the night. We also went to the wax museum which was actually really cool. We decided to go see the Thunder From Down Under that night and then go to the Palms since I'd never ventured out that way. The Thunder show was awesome as always, but I was disappointed to not see my favorite Thunder. After the show, we chatted it up with one of the Thunders and found out my favorite Thunder had just quit the night before to move to China. After that we hopped a cab and went to Ghost Bar at the Palms. Although the view was amazing, we were a little disappointed by the guy selection there and felt like old maids here. Everyone kept asking us if we were there for Spring Break or Nascar. First of all, my last Spring Break was about 5 years ago and second I hate Nascar. Even though I'm from Florida and I should just naturally like Nascar, I have grown to cringe at the sight of Jeff Gordon after being forced to watch Nascar or Western movies as a child when going to visit my grandfather. After being asked for the 54th time if we were there for Spring Break, we finally just went with it. I was 23 and Steph was 22 and we went to Adelphi and majoring in Journalism.

Steph and I with Hugh.
Our 3rd day, we went back to the Bellagio buffet and then decided to venture out to old Vegas. I'd been to Freedmont Street my first time in Vegas(I think I saw every part of Vegas when I was there 2 weeks for work) but I wanted to get pictures this time and since we had walked up and down the strip the first two days, we were running out of things to do during the day. In Vegas, it's really more of a night place. That night, we went to the Holly Madison show Peepshow which was amazing. Afterwards, we met up with some of the Thunder at Cathouse in the Luxor. After a few drinks, a few puffs of hooka, and a couple rounds of pool with the Aussies, we went back to our hotel. Steph and I were still wide awake so we decided to take the rest of our night to the center bar at the Hard Rock. There, we spotted two guys from across the bar. We were intrigued by the two because they seemed they were really into talking to one another. We were trying to figure out if they were gay or straight. Their body language definitely told us they were a couple. I couldn't take it anymore and walked over. I asked if I could ask them a question and noticed they had accents. Apparently they weren't gay, they were just British. Being the world traveler that I am and that I love people from other countries(okay, mostly just love people from Australia, the U.K., and Italy, and by people I mean guys) I made some new friends. Steph and I tried to teach them American and gave them some phrases to say in Southern and Northern accents. They weren't too good at it. After getting pissed for being carded for ordering water and getting a text message from my "it's time for bed" alarm clock from the East coast, I realized the sun was rising over Vegas.

Teaching some Brits how to speak American.

The sunrise from our hotel room.

Our final day in Vegas like all of my other Vegas trips was the most epic. Since we didn't go to bed until sunrise and we had run out of things to do during the day, we slept until it was time to get up to get ready for the night. Our first stop of the night was the new casino the Cosmopolitan. This place was amazing and a definite place to stay on my next trip. After dinner, we headed over to Paris where we had gotten on the list for the grand opening for the new club Chateau. After being in the club for about 5 minutes, we were approached by a guy that asked if we would like to join their table for some drinks. We went and met some good ole southern boys from Tennessee. They were there for a bachelor party. Steph, me, and two of our new friends decided to go down to the casino for some gambling. We watched them play craps for a while and then went back to the club. A little later, I got the itch to play some blackjack so my new friend and I went back down to the table. I remember doing really well at the beginning, but some how in the end only left the table being up $5. I guess I should have walked away while I still remembered playing. We went back to the club and found the table empty. Apparently everyone had left. We hopped a cab and told the driver we were in search of Elvis. Not just any Elvis, an ordained Elvis. I'm sure we were only joking, since that was #16 on my Surviving Sin City list, but the cab driver was not having it.

Steph and I at Chateau.

Me with my "almost" future ex husband.

The next day, it was time for us to leave. With a pounding head, I quickly threw my stuff in my bag and headed down to check out. The wait for our flight at the airport was miserable but the flight was definitely better than last year. We finally made it back to NY. The next day I woke up sick and ended up sleeping almost the whole day. Vegas had kicked my ass. I still love you Vegas, but you're just so exhausting! After I catch up on my sleep, I can't wait until we meet again, Sin City.

Surviving Sin City

Tomorrow I will encounter my 4th visit to one of my favorite places in the world: Las Vegas. Having ADD while packing and waiting for my laundry to finish drying, I decided to write a post about surviving Sin City.

1. When packing, don't forget the essentials: high heels, hair extensions, loads of bling, hair spray, and plenty of sparkly, black, lacy, short, slutty attire.

2. Don't book your flight home too early in the a.m. You may: a- miss your flight. b-get sick in the airport bathroom while waiting for your flight. c-faint in the middle of the isle on your plane. d-all of the above.

3. Don't bring your boyfriend. Or any guys for that matter. Guys rarely get into the club free, unless they are famous or have money.

4. Don't have a boyfriend at all. Vegas is better when you're single.

5. Don't sit at a $500 limit BJ table. Unless you're gambling with someone else's money. In that case, double your bets, double down and split every chance you get.

6. If you get a chance, hang out with local celebs like the boys from the Thunder From Down Under or professional poker players. You'll instantly get VIP everywhere you go.

7. Dance like a rock star where ever you go. Instant VIP.

8. Dress like a model and walk like one. May I suggest high heels, short skirt or dress, long hair extensions, smokey eyes, and a good push up bra goes a long way. Instant VIP.

9. Put a limit on how much you want to gamble. If you're like me, it's hard to walk away from the BJ table.

10. Don't let your friends roofie you.

11. Don't go to bed until you see the sunrise.

12. Bring a camera everywhere you go. Sometimes you need a reminder of what happened the night before.

13. One of the best rides in Vegas is the Luxor elevator. Followed by the New York, New York roller coaster and all the rides at the Stratosphere. Don't stray away from the person that has your ride tickets though, you might just get kicked out of the Stratosphere if you do.

14. Stay away from guys with wedding bands.

15. Don't take any of the cards the little Spanish men are passing out and tapping together on the strip.

16. During a full night of drinking, stay away from little chapels. It doesn't just happen in movies.

17. Run around the Excalibur yelling, "I'm the queen of the castle!" People may look at you weird, but who cares, when else do you get to pretend you're a queen in a real castle?

18. Stay hydrated. This does not mean drinking the water in the Bellagio fountain.

19. Don't text anyone at 2 a.m. Remember there's a 3 hour time difference.

20. Lobster for breakfast is the breakfast of champions.

21. Don't hit when the dealer has a bust card. Unless you wanna piss me off.

22. Know when to hold 'em, know when to fold 'em, know when to walk away, and know when to run.

23. Take the Monorail. Monorail. Monorail!

24. Two words: Breakfast buffet.

25. And remember what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas. Except herpes. That shit'll come back with you.

2nd trip to Vegas. Sitting VIP with a pro poker player.

Unsolved Mysteries

The other day, my roommate and I were discussing how we couldn't keep a guy longer than 3 weeks, give or take. We talked about why this was, what do we do to drive guys away or what makes us back away from a good guy. This got me thinking of all the reasons or excuses I've been dealt or come up with when I've been broken up with or had a guy stray away from me.

I'm actually pretty good when it comes to knowing if a guy just isn't that into me. Being 28, only having enough boyfriends to fill 1 hand but having dated(dating, talking to, seeing, courting, whatever you people call it now a days, but I'm not talking about "sleeping with" because I'm definitely not that girl) enough guys to have my own professional football team, I'd say I'm a professional single girl and have years of experience dealing with douchebags and being shot down. Trust me, I've seen the movie and read the book(actually I own both and sometimes refer back to them when I find myself giving excuses) but if he's not calling or texting you, wanting to hang out or see you, then ladies he's just not that into you. It's simple. But the one thing that gets me and drives me crazy is the why. Why is he just not that into you? What the hell happened?

When break ups happen within real relationships, you usually get an answer of what happened, but when you're just dating a guy and they don't want to move any further, they can just walk away with no answers. It's easier that way, no confrontation, no conflict, just stop all contact and move on to the next one. I know it's easy because I'm guilty of this move. If I'm just not that into someone, I'm not gonna waste my time in continuing the communication and hanging out. It may be easy for the person that's just not that into you, but what about the one left behind?

One minute he's making you dinner and playing Frank Sinatra for you and 3 days later you have yet to hear from him as you're sitting at a bar by yourself sending him drunk text messages written in third person (true story). Okay, so maybe that was a bad example, but my point is this, how is it that one minute things are looking good between you and your maybe in the near future beau, you're hanging out and talking a lot, beginning to feel comfortable and then all of a sudden you're left dumbfounded because you haven't received a call or text in the last few days. You're left looking at your phone and wondering if maybe something is wrong with your Blackberry(turn it off then back on, still nothing) or maybe Verizon is doing some kind of work on the network(damn you Verizon!) or maybe there was some kind of freak accident with a space shuttle and it hit the exact satellite that gives your phone service and now your phone is just this useless object so you might as well throw it across the room. Or maybe he lost his phone and doesn't have your number to contact you. That's it! Or he hit his head really hard at work and now he has amnesia and doesn't even remember you. Maybe a pack of aliens came down in their UFO and are now sticking weird objects into his belly button. Either that, or something happened to make him just not that into you anymore.

It's one big mystery. You just want to hire a detective to investigate. Or call that guy on Unsolved Mysteries, your story would make for an awesome episode! Wait, forget Unsolved Mysteries, it would make for a great Lifetime movie. You think I could I get Kate Bosworth to play me? More than likely, you're not gonna have your mystery solved. If you're a girl, you're going to over analyze the whole so called almost relationship and come up with things like, maybe I talked too much about myself or maybe he doesn't like blonds or maybe he thought I was too good for him. That's it, you are just too good for him, that douchebag! You weren't really into him anyways, right? The thing is you're never going to get the real answer, unless you're friends with his friends and find out that way or maybe grow the balls to ask him for yourself. A little liquid courage sometimes helps make those balls grow.

When I'm stuck in this situation(which happens more than I would like), there's a part of me that wants to say just leave it be. Gather my chips and cash in my winnings because it's over. Another one bites the dust. It is what it is. We had a good run. It's on to the next one. But then there's the crazy girl part of me that's like WTF? What is wrong with me? What did I do? What did I say? And I don't stop asking myself these questions until I get the answers. And on the rare times that I actually do get these answers, they are sometimes the answers I thought they were. And then sometimes they are the answers I didn't want to hear. But the only thing you can do is use these realizations you've encountered to help with the next person you come across.

A few words of advice when your crazy girl part wants to take over. Clear your head(easier said than done, right?) Go for a run while listening to your IPod until your head is clear of all the insanity, it's good for your thoughts and for your body. Go to dinner with your girlfriends and talk it all out of you. It's sometimes good to get more opinions and girls love to compliment their troubled friends so it will boost your self esteem. Go out for a few drinks with your girlfriends and flirt with some hotties, but don't over drink! No matter how many times I've done this and think the more I drink the less I can think, you're more than likely going to run into Mr. He's Just Not That Into You and make a fool of yourself, send him drunken texts that will leave you waking up the next day to not even wanting to look at your phone let alone see what you wrote, or you'll just sit at the bar and throw yourself a pity party. Or you can always just write. Write it out. Write down every little thing. You learn a lot about yourself when you get it all out of you.

Valentine's Day, Schmalentine's Day

In elementary school, Valentine's Day was my favorite holiday. I used to love all the pink and red heart decorations my teachers would hang up. I loved going to the store with my mom and picking out Valentine's Day cards to hand out to all my classmates. I loved decorating my box or bag for the Valentines I was going to receive on that day. I loved counting how many cards I received and seeing if I received one from my crush. I loved conversation hearts, heart shaped lollipops, and the red and pink sugar cookies. I just loved Valentine's Day.

In high school, the afternoon announcements came on 20 minutes early just to call out everyone who received flowers to come to the office to pick their arrangements up. I always waited with anticipation but my name was always called. One year I swear I had the most beautiful flowers out of any girl; lavender and red roses. I know they can do a lot with flowers now a days, but back then lavender roses like those I had never seen before. I was a lucky girl. I never thought about what if I didn't get flowers or how I would feel if my name wasn't called, seeing all the other girls walking to their cars with their packages and going home empty handed.

Even in college I loved Valentine's Day. My boyfriend and I were long distance but we would still celebrate V Day by spending the weekend together. I think it was my last year of college that Valentine's Day started going down hill for me. I believe it was the day before Valentine's Day(it seems so long ago and can't remember all the details) my boyfriend and I decided to end things. I haven't celebrated a Valentine's Day since then. Okay, so maybe 2 years after that, the guy I was dating at the time met me at work with a rose and took me to dinner on my lunch break, but that's it. It's been 6 years of not celebrating this holiday. No flowers, stuffed animals, jewelry, candy, dinner, spending time with a person I love. And getting gifts from your parents doesn't count! (Sorry mom)

Now I'm the girl in high school that didn't hear her name get called. I'm that girl that left at the end of the day empty handed. I'm the girl with the empty heart decorated box. At least in elementary school the teacher made us give a Valentine to everyone.

I know in my post "The Story of my Singleness" I said I was okay and comfortable with being single. This is still true, but it doesn't mean it's easy being single, especially on a day like this. Seeing all the window displays at the mall with all the hearts and pinks and reds. Seeing couples with their PDA for all to see. Helping guys shop for cute bras and undies for their loves(I work in a bra and undies store for those of you that didn't know. I don't just help random guys look at girls underwear, it's my job!) I was hoping that maybe this year might be different, but it seems my guy-dyslexia has kicked in. Therefore, I will be spending this Valentine's Day with the love of my life, WORK.

It's weird how much your preferences can change throughout the years. I never would have thought that one day I would hate Valentine's Day. Maybe one day I will grow to love this day once again, but for now I'm gonna keep continuing what I do best; being the fun, spontaneous, independent, hard working, single girl I've grown to be.

To My Dearest New York...

Dear New York,

You know I love you, right? I really do, but in order for us to move on in our relationship, I really must get this off my chest. It's been a year and a half that we've been together but there's some things that just annoy me about you. If you want to continue on with our relationship there's just a few things you need to work on.

First of all, your speed limit on all your parkways and major roadways is just way too low. 55 MPH, really? Who made this law, my grandmother? No wonder Floridians get so mad when all the snowbirds invade the south, because all the Yanks are used to not going over 55. In Florida, mostly all interstates have a speed limit of 70 MPH. This means you can go at least 85 without getting into trouble.
This speed limit of 55 MPH is kind of a problem for me. On account of that I commute a total of 2 hours a day for work and on account of I have a medical condition. Don't worry, it's not that serious of a condition but it is a condition I have dealt with since I turned 16. It's condition in my right foot called Lead Foot Syndrome. This syndrome is caused by having lead in my right foot so it causes driving slow to be almost impossible since my foot is so heavy on the accelerator. It's a real condition you guys! Google it if you don't believe me.
New York, it would help me out so much if you could just increase your speed limit, especially on the Southern, Northern, Ocean and Sagtikos Parkways to 70MPH, or even just 65 would be beneficial. You see, with my medical condition and being that if I get another ticket I might have my license suspended I am in a bit of a bind. If you could just raise this speed limit it would mean more sleep for me, less of being late for work, more time for me to get ready for work or go out after work and less time for my friends to have to wait for me to get home from work and less of me having road rage at all the Yanks out there that actually drive the slow ass speed limit.

Secondly, why are your state taxes so damn high? I mean I know you're a little high maintenance and all with your big, busy city but damn dude. I'm not all that great with this tax stuff, that's what accountants are for, right? But I know that when I get my paycheck stub and see my net pay versus what is actually in my paycheck it just down right pisses me off. Where does all my hard working money go? To the schools? I don't have kids so why should my money go there? To the roads? If so, why are there so many damn potholes? And I know my money doesn't go to the snow plowers, and if it is they aren't doing their jobs right because my road sure wasn't plowed right after all this snow.

And that brings me to another topic that's pissing me off, New York. Why you gotta snow so much this winter? You weren't this bad last year. Are you mad at me or something? I know I left you for 3 months but you don't have to show your madness with record breaking snow fall. You're making my commute to work more stressful than my actual day at work, running the boardwalk a slippery obstacle course so therefore I'm not getting my ass into shape, wearing heels outside impossible, street parking a nightmare, stumbling home from the bar more dangerous than it should be, and worst of all you're giving me the winter blues!

So New York, please don't take this post the wrong way, I still do love you. I love your surfer filled beaches. I love your never sleeping big city. I love your defined seasons, especially summer. I love your excitement for sports, even though I'm not a Yankees, Giants, Jets or Mets fan(okay, so I might like the Jets just a little bit). I love your events for celebrating holidays, even if some of them are made up (i.e. Irish Day). I love the way you pronounce your vowels(I gotta say, the accents are growing on me, even though I hope I never talk like that). Trust me, I'm not going to leave you anytime soon. But if you can't do something soon about these things that annoy me, I might have to take some sort of action. I already got a new car just so we could stay together. Where's the compromise, New York? If you don't start making me more happy New York, I might just have to go find some place else that will! Maybe like Boston? Don't worry I'll only be gone for a little over a week. Or maybe Vegas? The trip is already booked but I can always cancel my flight back!

My home in New York. Yes, I live in a barn.