I have lived in New York for 4 months now. No matter how much I could try to fit in, I pretty much stick out like a sore thumb. Here are some ways you can tell I'm not a real Long Islander.
1. I say "Y'all". When I first said it to some of my employees, they just looked at me with their heads cocked to the side like I was speaking Chinese or something. After that I tried to correct myself and say "you guys", but that didn't work, I kept saying "y'all". I decided that if I wanna say "Y'all" I'm gonna say it! My employees got used to it.
2. I pronounce my "A's" and "O's".
3. I drive a Mustang. Unlike Florida, there's not a lot of Mustangs up here. People seem fascinated when they see my car. I am always getting compliments. I don't think it's all that great actually. It's only a V6 and the Mustang on the front was stolen. I guess up here the Mustang hood ornament is a rare collectors item.
4. I don't own a shovel, snow brush, or scraper. I had to dig my car out of the snow with my hands and by kicking the snow out of the way. When my windshield was covered with snow, I pulled a shoe out of my floorboard and started pushing the snow off with that. Two of the maintenance guys at my apartment complex started laughing at me and asked, "You're not from here, are ya?"
5. I'm not a Yankees, Mets, Jets, or Giants fan. I am a Florida girl and love my Rays and Bucs, even though they didn't do so well this year.
6. I find myself walking outside in flip flops and a tank. I sometimes forget I live in New York.
7. I have yet to go to a diner. They are everywhere!
8. I talk on my cell when driving. Again, I forget I live in New York.
9. I get really mad when drivers don't go the second the light turns green. It's like they have their thumbs up their asses. If you do that shit in Miami, you get ran over!
10. I turn right on red. Why can't you do that up here? I don't get it!
11. I can't pronounce Sagtikos, Haupague, Massapequa, Patchogue, or Islip correctly. I finally learned how to say Ronkonoma, after lessons on a train ride to Penn.
12. I'm not Italian.
13. I only use my Bump-it for special occasions like Halloween, not every Saturday night.
14. I didn't own a pair of boots until 2 months ago.
15. While Sarah and I were looking for wine in the grocery store, we asked an employee where the wine section was located. He laughed and walked away. We went to 2 other grocery stores until we found out they only sell wine in liquor stores. Liquor stores close around 6. Sarah and I were not happy that night.
16. Beaches and pools close after Labor Day, and you have to pay to go to the beach. In Florida, beaches are open year round and the only thing you might have to pay for is parking.
17. I don't like Jager.
18. At the end of September, I tried to turn my heat on. It didn't work. I went down to the office and asked for them to fix it. They said there's a law for apartment complexes that doesn't allow them to turn the heat on until October 15th. I went to bed that night with 2 layers of clothes and 3 blankets.
19. I don't know how to parallel park. Okay, that's probably just a way you can tell I'm from a small town.
20. I checked my coat at a bar for the first time 3 weeks ago. Wasn't sure if you're supposed to tip them or not or how much to leave if you did. The girl just looked at me after handing me my coat. I handed her a dollar. She didn't look happy.
21. On a snowy day, windshield wipers were up on cars in the parking lot. I thought someone was just playing a trick on the shoppers of Smith Haven Mall.
22. I left a water bottle in my car floorboard for a few days. When I found it after it snowed, the water was frozen. I was amazed.
23. I went looking for a Super Wal-Mart or Super Target. Apparently they don't have those up here.
24. I got a ticket for drinking in the subway station at Penn. You can drink on the LIRR but not the subway. Paid my ticket two days ago. Hopefully there's not a warrant out for my arrest.
25. I never clock out for my break at work. I am salary so I figured there's no point and never have in the 6 years I've worked for the company. Who knew there's a New York law that costs my company $500 each time I don't clock out for lunch.
