Help Wanted

I need help. My blog needs help. If it were a person, I'd be putting it on What Not to Wear. My blog is almost 3 years old and it is in need of a desperate make over. It's looked the same for a long time and needs a whole new look. Since I'm about to embark on a big move to the big city, inching my way to my third decade in life, and starting a new job this makes the perfect time.

On my 30 Before 30 post, I wanted to switch over to WordPress. Since I'm unemployed at the moment I've been really looking into this. I know I can do it. I started making webpages when I was 14. I had my own website and made pages for all of my friends. I haven't made a page in over 13 years now so I'm a little rusty. Although WordPress makes things a lot easier, I want the best for my blog. I have this vision in my head of how I want it. I don't want it looking tacky or cheesy or like I used Paintbrush on my PC. I want it to look like what's in my head and if not I'll be disappointed.

What my blog needs:
A new name. conSTELLAtion was a name I used to tell people when a person asked if Stella was my real name or if it was short for something. I told this to my crew in Miami and the name kind of stuck to me. I love space and stars(since that's what my name means). But now that I think of it, conSTELLAtion just doesn't make since. I'm a single small town Florida girl living the fast paced life in New York. And seeing that I'm about to move into the Big Apple, I really will be living that fast paced city life. I thought about Single in the City but after researching, it's already been done. Also, what if this professional single girl(almost 3 years running) becomes a non-singleton? Not saying I'm looking, but hey it could happen! Here's others I've been thinking about:
-Stella in the City
-Southern in the City
-Oranges to Apples(since I'm from Florida the citrus state moving into the Big Apple, get it?)
-Small Town City Girl(can we say oxymoron?)
Do these suck? I need some input! Comment here or on FB or send me a message!

Photo shoot. I need a photo shoot of me around NYC. With Instagram I guess I can turn any photo into a professional looking picture. I think this is just up to me to make the time and find a friend to follow me around with their iPhone or camera in the Big Apple.

Graphics. I need Photoshop and my memory back of how to use Photoshop or just a graphic designer.

More readers and followers. I've really been proud of some of the posts have written. I have friends commenting or sending me private messages of how great or so true my posts are. I've even had people tell me this in the bars around LB. People can't believe some of my writings have came out of this head. Surprise people! I may not be the most confident person in the word, but I am confident in my writing. I take pride in my writing. This is my passion and I love hearing that others like what they are reading. I also love hearing that I've inspired or helped a person, that they can relate to me and know they aren't alone out there, that I've given them clarity on life. I want more people to feel this way. I want more girls(or guys) like me to read what I have to say.

Inspiration. In my last post, I said how crazy my life was last month and that I hadn't been able to just sit back and write. This is very true but I also haven't felt inspired lately. I have a couple of posts in this head of mine that I need to get out onto my computer, but after that, what's next? I know why my inspiration has been low. First of all, I haven't been running the boardwalk which almost always gets my writing juices following, instead I've been heading to the gym. Secondly, my dating life has been basically non-existent. Being this professional single girl, you might be able to tell just by the posts I write when I've been done wrong by a guy or when I'm seeing someone or when I'm just plan frustrated with all guys. For example, my two back to back posts published in March where written after reconnecting with an ex that went all wrong. Hence the Exit Interview For Exes post. Now you know my secret. Since it seems I've taken an involuntary manbatical, I haven't really felt inspired. Which I don't always get my inspiration from just my life. I also get it from my friends' lives or stories I've heard. So if you or someone you know has an awesome story or topic I should write about, please message me!

I want to make this vision of mine a reality. I want to put my blog on the map. I want my website to be googleble and not just some obituary for an 88 year old lady(true story. There's even a gravestone too.) Please help with your opinions or talents! Hopefully www.stellataylor.com will be made into awesomeness soon.

Told ya there was a gravestone! Freaky!!

April Showers Bring May...???

I know, I know, it's been forever since I've updated this thing. And I know I use the whole "I've been busy" excuse way too much. I gotta say though, this month has really exhausted me. Have you ever felt like you were drowning but you weren't anywhere near water? That's what I've felt like this April. Why have I felt this way? Well let me explain.

I know I complain a lot. I actually don't see it as me complaining. I sometimes(more than sometimes I guess) vent in my writing. I write what's on my mind, what's bothering me, what I'm excited about, what I'm scared about, what I enjoy, what I hate, what goes on in this little blonde head of mine. So, don't mind me when I vent in this post.

At the beginning of this crazy month of April, I lost someone very dear to me. My last grandparent. The only grandmother I knew. The sweetest, most compassionate, caring, loving, nurturing person in my life(besides my own mother, which I know exactly where she gets it from). Nellie Elizabeth Barker Clements; Nana to my brother, cousins and I, lived a long(95 years to be exact) wholesome, lively life. I can't say that the death of my grandmother was unexpected. To tell you the truth, I have no idea how she lived this long. Every time I received a phone call from my mom early in the morning, I thought for sure it was about my Nana. Nope, somehow she had beat all odds and out lived all my dogs that my mom had called to tell me about in her sad but yet calm voice.

The day after I got the news about my grandmother, my boss told me that my store was closing. It's not like I really wanted to stay at this store, even with this company rather, but this still stressed me out. I had less than a month to find a new job, with a week of that month being spent in Florida. They had made me an offer at another store, which I really didn't want to take but I did at least have a backup plan. This was it though. This was my way out. This store closing was really a blessing in disguise. I've been looking for something else since the beginning of this year(4 months) and having the thought in my head that I may not have a job by the end of the month really pushed me and made my job hunt a bit more aggressive.

Looking and interviewing for a job is a job all in itself. Plus still actually having a job of closing a store isn't as easy as just closing the doors. All my free time I was on the computer looking on Craig's list, Careerbuilders, Monster, Mayor of the Mall, checking my email every minute, interviewing on every day off I had, 2 interviews at least each day. It took a lot of research, frustration, rejection, rewrite after rewrite of my resume and Xanax until I finally got my offer.

And then I had my follow up visit with my doctor. My last visit; my 6 month checkup and sonogram after my surgery, didn't go so well. The doctor had found yet another big cyst feasting on my right ovary. I said my right ovary was dying. If you've read my "Taylor Made" post, you know what I had been through. I had scheduled my doctor's appointment with an interview right after that. Not a good idea at all since my nerves were already shot from the thought of both but with limited time to find a job, I had to make this schedule. I thought for sure it grew bigger or I'd have to have another surgery or even my ovary removed. I prepared for the worst. After the way this month had been going, I figured what's one more bad thing to happen to me? I'd be grandmotherless, jobless and ovaryless. Yep, I let my pessimistic side out. So when the doctor told me the cyst was completely gone, I was in shock. "Really? Are you sure?" I asked her. She showed me the monitor screen. I've become quite an expert by now at looking at sonograms of my ovaries. When I got to my car, I did the same thing I did at my last doctor visit. I cried. This time though, I was crying for joy. Relief. My optimistic side came back to me. Maybe my right ovary won't be dying just yet. Maybe there's a real chance I can have children. Maybe I can stop living in fear of this thing that was growing inside my body. And maybe this month was not so bad.

So this basically sums up my roller coaster of a month. At the beginning, I was stressed, depressed, frustrated, exhausted, and just plan sad. All of this negativity really effected me and I became a pessimist about everything in my life. But by the end of the month, I started seeing the light at the end of the tunnel. No more negative Nancy. Only Positive Polly. Although some bad things did happen in April, I only see the good now. My grandmother is now at peace in heaven with my Papa. My saint parents can now relax and spend some quality time together and get out of the house. I saw my beautiful family including my 1 year old cousin I hadn't met yet. I finally got to meet my best friend's twin baby boys in which I fell in love. I became more confident while interviewing and learned what to and what not to say. I got a new job in which I will be making good money and get to actually dress more fashionable and more my age. And I get a good sum of money just for closing my store. Life for this single girl may not be so bad now. I can't wait to see what May has in store for me. New job. New wardrobe. New attitude. Soon to be new place of residency? Hhmm, now that was in my 30 Before 30 list. Bye, bye Barn? ;)