STF Seeking...

Being a single girl, I have been told, or received an email(how the hell do they know I'm single?) that I should put up a profile on match.com or one of those other dating sites, asked if I could be set up on a date with someones son/friend/cousin's brother's daughter's godson, and facebook messaged by several random guys in the NY area. First of all, I am happy for anyone that has found love on a dating site. I though will not be found on one of those sites. I am not "looking" for love nor will I register a profile. If love finds me, so be it. To be set up on a date before even knowing the person is probably the most stressful thing a friend can do to you. Dating to me is nerve racking enough with someone I actually know let alone a complete stranger. And what if you totally don't hit it off with this person? Then you're stuck for the rest of the evening with someone you have no desire to be around while you have to go back and tell your friend she's an idiot for thinking you and her mother's sister's 3rd cousin were compatible. And for those random facebook messages from complete strangers, how the hell do I know you're not the Ocean Parkway serial killer? I am not about to be called a hooker by some reporters on the news or have someone like Tori Spelling playing me on a Lifetime movie(all though she did name her daughter a great name!)

I am not one to be set up with or go on dating sites partly also because I like the excitement of going out and looking for someone myself. Not that I go out to look for guys, I go out to have fun with my friends, but on occasion I do meet new people. It's exciting to look across the bar and see someone that catches your eye. You make eye contact for 1 second, bring it back for 15 seconds, then look again and if he's still looking at you too you better straighten up your hair, ask your girl if you got shit in your teeth, adjust that bra and pop in a peppermint because guaranteed he's about to come buy you a drink and talk to you. And once he comes to talk to you, the flirting is fun and exchanging of numbers is even more exciting. And then comes the texting or calling(but in this day in age, probably more so texting) and then if you're really hitting it off, then comes the date with the person you actually have met in person and gotten to know a little through drunken conversation at the bar and through the world of technology.

Back in the day, we had classified ads. I guess they are still out there somewhere. Who does classified ads now a days? Probably someone that still uses a typewriter and one of those phones with the wheel thingie on it. All the matchmaking websites have replaced classified ads. But if I were to do a classified or a profile on a dating site, it would probably sound something like this: (do they have power point on dating sites because I could make a mean power point presentation on what I'm about to write).

Single Tan Female seeking:
Who ever says looks doesn't matter is full of bullshit. Don't wanna come off conceded because I'm far from but you gotta be attracted to the person in the first place in order to find that first interest in someone. Somethings gotta draw you in and make you pay attention. For me, I like sparkly, shiny, interesting eyes with a killer smile. I love a strong back(weird I know), nice arms, and preferably a six pack(not of beer. Unless it's Hoegarden. Which I've never had a 6 pack of Hoegarden. I've only had it in a huge ass glass that I couldn't even pick up with just one hand. Damn I want a Hoegarden right now). Someone taller than me(which is not hard to do seeing I'm only 5'2 and 1/2"). And something I've just acquired in liking that I've never liked before, 1 or 3, or 4 tattoos, as long as they have a meaning(just to piss my parents off, jk).

Looks aren't everything though. You could be a total stud, but if you don't have personality, you ain't got nothin'! A guy has to make me laugh. Like laugh really hard. Like almost pee my pants kind of laugh. He has to be just as funny, if not funnier than me. And if you don't get my jokes, then that sucks for you dude.

I like a guy with ambition. Working for his future. Knows what he wants and is career oriented. But not so career oriented that he forgets the finer things in life. Someone not so busy to where I can't be fit into their schedule. I'm busy too but if I'm into a person, I will make and find the time to hang out.

Someone that likes or has a dog. And not a little pansy dog(sorry my sweet little Buster) but a real manly dog. And likes kids. Not that I have any or am ever around them, but I find it cute when a guy is good with kids. Also someone that's close to his family.

It seems I'm attracted to cocky guys, even though I say I don't like that quality. And although I say I hate assholes, a guy has to be somewhat assholy in order for me to be interested(at least in the beginning. Cut it out after I've been won over!)

I like a guy that likes baseball and football. They don't have to like the teams I like though. A little competition and bets can be fun. Someone that likes to play sports or other activities like poker, running, surfing. Definitely surfing. Oh and a great dancer. Someone that can keep up with me.

I love Jeeps. And I like a guy that drives a Jeep. Top down. Cool tunes playing. Aviators on. I hate when I drive up to a Jeep at a red light, look over and it's an old guy or a girl. Disappointment.

A guy that knows how to dress. But doesn't wear rhinestones or that Ed Hardy or Affliction or whatever it's called shit. Also someone that isn't soooo much into what he wears that he tells me what I should wear too. A nice big watch is an essential.

I love accents. Mostly Australian, British and New Yorker. God knows why I like New York accents but I do.

Someone that has manners and holds the door for a girl. Someone that would dig my car out of the snow, God knows I hated doing that. Someone that knows all about cars. Someone that likes Family Guy. Believes in God. Loves to travel. Just as random as me.

So if you are someone that possesses all or 90% of these qualities and know me, hit a girl up. Now excepting applications for a summer fling. Possible full time position available after summer. Or you can find me somewhere at a bar in Long Beach, give me the eye from across the bar, if I look back, come talk to me.

Greetings from New York

Along with a lot of other things I'm still trying to figure out about these New Yorkers up here, there's one thing that happens every time I go out or run into someone I know. When I first started meeting new people up here, I shook their hand, just like any other place in the United States. After the introduction and I saw the same people out again, they would lean in and kiss my cheek. Wait, what? Where am I? Did I move to Italy or France? Or is this person just getting fresh with me? After having this happen on every occasion I went out, I thought, damn these New Yorkers get a little too friendly! It's something I guess I have grown used to after living here for a year and a half. Actually, no, I still don't think I'm fully used to it. I still feel a bit awkward when a person leans in for a kiss on the cheek. I know I'm supposed to do the same and return the kiss on the cheek, but I seem to like to make it awkward. First I'm thinking, which cheek do I go for? Left? Right? I'm left handed and do everything backwards so I'm guessing right cheek? But what if that person is left handed too? Left cheek? I don't wanna make it anymore awkward and miss their cheek completely and hit their lips or nose or eye. Then they might get the wrong idea about us southern girls. So here we are, doing some kind of dance move with our heads straight off the episode of Saved By the Bell when Lisa sprained her ankle(you 80's babies know what I'm talking about and don't act like you've never done "The Sprain"). Then comes the kiss on the cheek part. Do I really kiss their cheek? Or do I just touch my lips to their cheek? Or do I just kinda make a kissy sound in their ear? And am I supposed to kiss the other cheek too? What happened to just an old fashion hug or a "hi" and a wave? Or my way of greeting a friend, a good ole half ass side hug. So if you're a New Yorker and you're reading this, don't stop with the "New York Greeting", I do like to embrace any culture I'm in, but be aware I'm probably not gonna be kissing back.