Exit Interviews for Exes

When a person quits a job, most companies hold exit interviews. The company wants to dig in and really find the real reason a person quits. They may want feedback for what they should or shouldn't do in the future. They want to know how they can better their company to create less turnover and keep their people happy and motivated. And usually when a person quits a job, there's something that drives them to do it. It's usually not just a one reason statement, it's usually more in depth and complicated than that.

I think exit interviews are a great practice for businesses out there. In fact, I don't think exit interviews should be limited to just jobs. What if you could hold exit interviews for other things in life? What if you could have exit interviews every time someone quits on you? Every time someone breaks up or ends a relationship with you, you could hold an interview with your ex and your ex could interview you on what really happened? At every end you could get the real, cold hard facts.

Quitting a job is kind of like a break up. At the beginning, a new job and a new relationship is exciting. You're learning about the position or the new person, getting used to the routine or the person. Then you start finding flaws and things get on your nerves. You start figuring out that position or that person just isn't right for you. Sometimes you stick with it, because you feel comfortable and don't want to have to go out in that scary real world to find another job or new beau so you continue until you just can't take it anymore. You start looking for a new job or beau until you find something or someone else or until you snap and just can't live the life you're living.

Like quitting a job, sometimes break ups can be quite sugar coated and open ended. They can end with a "it's not you, it's me" or "I've got too much on my plate" or the "we're just at two different places in our lives". What do these break up lines really even mean? Are these really good reasons to end a relationship or are they just so common that people that don't like conflict just instantly say it for an easy exit? Other times break ups can be rather hostile, emotional, and so confusing that you almost forget the whole reason for the break up. Wouldn't it be nice to get feedback from your ex on exactly what went wrong? To gain the closure you might need to move on, because you know every single girl needs that closure or they continue to dwell and over analyze every little thing. And wouldn't it be awesome to see what you may need to work on in the next relationship to make it work? To just get the God honest truth? No more analyzing what just happened or beating yourself up about things. You could have the truth in front of you in black and white.

And on the other side you could lay it all out in your exit interview. God knows you have some words to say and your girlfriends' ears are bleeding from listening to you rant. You could just say what you need to say(cue John Mayer). Let it all out. Don't let one word stay in that over analyzing head of yours.

The exit interview could help you shape your future relationships.  If there was something your ex hated that you did and maybe you had no clue it was an annoyance, you could work on it for the next guy that comes your way. And if you decide that one day in the future you want to reconnect and rekindle that relationship you once had with the ex, then you could pull up that file. After some time those feelings of sadness and animosity and hostility go away. You forget the whole reason of the break up and your heart has mended and you forgive. Reading over the exit interview could really bring back those feelings and stop you from having your past repeat itself. Not saying it always does repeat itself because people do grow up and change and timing does become right, but more than likely the past will happen again, and you're left with the same exact feelings as before. Most exes are exes for a reason, right?

Which in a perfect, grown up world, we shouldn't feel like we need exit interviews at the end of a relationship. We shouldn't feel so confused, disheartened, and to point of wanting to give up on figuring out the opposite sex. We should feel like we have all the answers we need at the end, learn and grow from it.  If we were all mature, grown ass adults, we should just be honest with each other in the first place. I was lucky to have someone be brutally honest with me once in my life and although at the time I was hurt and heart broken, when I look back now after not getting any answers just recently, I wish I could get the truth each and every time. Because without that honesty, I'd probably still be wondering what the hell really happened, dwelling on the past, receiving no closure and hoping on an unrealistic thought of a future that would never be. Too bad not everyone can be so honest and that most of the human population are cowards. Some people run away from conflict and leave others with uncertainty, unanswered questions, wrong answers and broken spirits. Not saying I haven't been a coward before, it happens, but after a while you learn to grow up and respect others and have compassion for their feelings. Too bad we can't all be grown up, mature adults who can stand up to conflict and deal with reality.

Over Analyzing the Already Over Analyzed Analysis

Guys, I'm going to tell you a little secret about us girls you may or may not know about us. Girls are actually smarter than they look. Most girls out there think like scientist; we are constantly analyzing every single little thing. Remember those science projects we had back in 5th grade that we pasted on cardboard? With a "I hypothesize..." and "The purpose of this project is..."? Somewhere in that science project there was a section for the analysis. I used to be horrible at that part of the science project. I never was a science person, obviously I was an English and writing person. I got my lowest grade in middle school in science in 8th grade, a D, which I cried my eyes out about. But now as an adult woman I find that my analyzing skills are sharp. Maybe way too sharp. Like I think I could totally make a career out of my over analyzing. Are there careers in analyzing? Because I could totally excel in this. My mind is always analyzing and over analyzing to the point that I'm over analyzing the analysis that I've already analyzed.

Everyday is a new science project. I find myself saying, "I wonder if..." or if I was a scientist I guess I would be saying, "I hypothesize that..." And after researching and analyzing and over analyzing I come to my conclusion. "In conclusion..."

But do us girls just think way too much? Do we think into things that are just a simple fact? A statement that is just a simple statement to a guy could be to us a complex algebra equation that could take us all night to figure out. It's sometimes worse than high school homework because we don't have the math book to look up the answers in the back so we must figure it out on our own. A simple ":)" to a girl could be as mysterious as the Egyptian pyramids.

Guys are simple human beings. They say something or do something and don't even think twice about what they say or do. Girls, on the other hand, are complex, confusing, critical creatures. Instead of taking the simple, straight shot path, we like to zig zag, climb mountains, swim through rivers and fight tigers to get to the conclusion of things. So that simple "ok" or "lol" that really meant nothing to you that you just text us? Yeah we thought about it for about an hour and still don't know what it could possibly mean. And that no response to a statement or even a question? That's just over analysis overload. That can totally shut down a girl's hard drive.

To guys, they are just simple creatures, but to girls they are way too hard to figure out. And I'm sure us girls aren't as easy to figure out, but I'm writing in a girl's prospective so I can't speak for the clueless guys out there. Sometimes analyzing can keep us up all night. What did that mean? Is that a good or bad thing? How do I even respond back to that? Does that mean he's in or not into me? This is the thought process of a girl. And it doesn't stop there. This is what can drive a girl to insanity.

Sometimes I wish guys would just state their purpose. State your purpose. It's sounds so simple. "I just want to get some booty." "I want a relationship with you but have too much on my plate right now." "I really do like you." "I want to be with you." "I'm confused and don't know what I want." Whatever it is guys, just state your purpose. If you just have no idea what you want, tell us. If you want us, tell us. If you have no intentions of being with us, tell us. If you just want sex, tell us. If you only see us as a friend, tell us. If you want to see where things go, tell us. State your purpose. It would make things a whole lot simpler to us girls.

But I guess then where would be the fun in that? Where's the challenge? Where's the mystery and the butterflies? Is it better to know the purpose or to figure it out on our own? Is it harder or easier on us to know exactly what a guy wants? I'd like to say yes it would be easier, but most girls out there like the challenge. The flirtation. The figuring out a guy on their own. If it were so simple for a guy to state the purpose to us, we probably would just get bored with this. As I said before, we are complex creatures. We don't do or think or like simple things and stating a purpose is simple and precise and to the point. Although sometimes I wish I just knew the simple facts about a guy, I also think of the confusing side. And where's the fun in knowing all the answers? Sometimes it's more fun and rewarding to figure out that complex, confusing equation on our own.