I'm going to let you guys in on a little secret about single girls. Although we say we are single, we aren't truly "single". Although we don't call anyone guy in particular our beau and no one guy calls us his girlfriend, we still have our particular guys that are in some way important to us and that fulfills our needs as being a woman. After discussing this with my other single friends and even not so single friends, I've come to the conclusion that most(maybe not every, but most) single girls have at least 3 guys in their lives. Sometimes we may have just 2 or even 4 or 5(depending on how many needs the woman has to be fulfilled), but on the average it's usually 3. I know I talked about playing the game and being a player in one of my other posts "The Game" but this is different. This doesn't make us single girls players at all, unless the singleton gets serious with one of the 3 and doesn't drop the other 2 or is having a real relationship with all 3.
These 3 guys I talk about that single ladies have carry all have different characteristics we like in a guy and fulfill some kind of single girl need. All single girls have different types of needs so each guy might be different from another singleton's 3. But if you happen to put these 3(or how many ever) guys together, it would make up Mr. Perfect. From talking to my girls and from experiences from my own single life(not that I actually have these 3 guys in my life, maybe I do or maybe I don't. I'm not revealing that!), I have come up with these 3 types of guys most single girls have in their lives: The BGFF, The Mr. Right Now, and The Mr. Right But Not Right Now.
The BGFF
The BGFF or the Best Guy Friend Forever, is, well, just that. He's the one you go to for advice. The one you know you can call anytime, day or night for whatever reason. He's the one you can just be yourself with, be one of the guys, drink beer and watch the game, play the Wii and let out "that's what she said" jokes. He's your wingman, and you're his wingwoman. If he doesn't like a guy and gets an asshole vibe, he's going to let you know. He looks after you. Tells you what may be the best for you even though you might not want to hear it and may not take his advice. Who said guys and girls can't be friends? Okay, so yeah it can be hard, especially if alcohol is present and if you're spending a lot of time together. Whatever you do though ladies, if you want to keep your BGFF and don't want to make things weird and awkward, do not, whatever you do, do not hook up with your BGFF. That's when your BGFF can turn into your Mr. Right Now. Which there have been instances that a girl's BGFF turns into their Mr. Right(we've all seen Made of Honor, right? Or maybe not. It's a cute movie and has McDreamy). Good for you, I think it's awesome when a girl finds love with their best friend, but in some instances it can become way too complicated and you might just lose your BGFF from it. Sometimes things just aren't worth the risk. It's best to leave your BGFF as just that.
Mr. Right Now
Mr. Right Now is the guy you know you can call when you get lonely and will always be there to hang out. Whether it be to meet up for a few drinks and some interesting conversations, take you to dinner as a Plan B when your Plan A, dinner with Mr. Right But Not Right Now falls through, go see the movie you've been dying to see but would never go see by yourself, or just order pizza and chill at your place. You're not serious with Mr. Right Now and he's not serious with you. He's someone that secretly makes you sane when your patience for Mr. RBNRN is wearing thin and keeps your mind off of him for a while.
Out of the 3, Mr. Right Now usually doesn't last that long and can change from week to week. After a few dates and maybe hook ups you decide you like hanging out, but this type of relationship really goes no where. You might get bored and decide it's time for a new Mr. Right Now. Or you might have 2 or 3 Mr. Right Nows. This is when things can get complicated and you start mixing up your Mr. Right Nows with other Mr. Right Nows. I know you're single ladies and can do what you want, but keep it classy! Don't be slutty singletons!
There might come a time when you lose all patience for Mr. RBNRN and you get tired of being alone and single. All you want is a boyfriend and by golly you'll do anything to get one. This is when Mr. Right Now could potentially save you from your singleness and become your boyfriend. You settle. You might not have the one you really want, but you're not single anymore and won't spend another Saturday night sitting alone with your cat while drinking a glass of red watching "He's Just Not That Into You". This happens all too often. My advice: don't do it. You know neither your mind or heart are in it. It's not fair to you or Mr. Right Now. This just ends in disaster. It might be all unicorns and hummingbirds in the beginning, but when you're with someone just because you don't want to be single anymore or just to have someone there, you're not really in it to win it. Sometimes it can lead to cheating or when Mr. RBNRN is settled and ready for something serious and you're not available, it can ruin your chances to true happiness.
Mr. Right But Not Right Now
Mr. Right But Not Right Now is the one that when your Blackberry beeps and lights up from a text message you hope it is him and get disappointed when it's not. Before you see him, your stomach feels like it's going to fly away from all the butterflies. He's the one that you want to spend every spare minute you might have with and the one you can't get off your mind even after a 5 mile run. He's the one you could one day see yourself spending the rest of your life with, but not right now. Not right now could be for many different reasons. Usually because it's bad timing. Take it from me, I am the queen of bad timing. If anyone knows bad timing, it's me. Maybe Mr. RBNRN just got out of a long relationship. He just started a new job and has absolutely no time to start a new relationship. He has too much on his plate. He might be moving away or already lives far away. Maybe he just needs to grow up a little and not be scared to commit. Trust me, if a guy has any or all of these examples, do not push yourself into his already confusing and stressful life. After reading Steve Harvey's book "Act Like a Lady, Think Like a Man" and being in these all too familiar situations, if you want Mr. RBNRN to become your Mr. Right, don't go single girl crazy and try to fit yourself into his life and get mad when he can't hang out because he's working 7 days a week. From Steve Harvey, a guy is way different from a woman(obviously). When a woman likes a guy, she makes it happen. There's no stopping her. When it comes to men, a guy has to make a life for himself first before getting seriously involved. He has to figure out who he is, what he wants to do and what he's going to get from what he does. If he hasn't figured this out or is on his way but hasn't made it yet, he's going to be way too busy with these things to focus on you.
Ladies, if you want it to work with Mr. RBNRN, be patient. Don't push it. If you try to push yourself into his not yet settled and stable life, you could potentially ruin it for good. Play it cool. Be patient. Good things come to those who wait, right? (This is probably why I'm still single, patience is not a virtue I have instilled in me. If only I could listen to my own advice.) If he really likes you and wants to be with you, he will make it happen after he gets his shit together. If he gets his shit together and still is not getting serious with you, then it just wasn't meant to be. At this point ladies, it's time to move on. On to the next one. This might be hard after all that waiting, but maybe you weren't his Miss RBNRN, maybe to him, you were just his Miss Right Now. Leave it be. And for those Mr. RBNRN that you might be waiting on to grow up, some guys never really do. Sometimes guys like that you just can't waste your time waiting on. He'll know what he's missed when he finally does grow up, but it will be too late. Sucks for him.
So you might agree or disagree with me on this one. You might be the type of single girl that doesn't have any of these and might be saying, "Stella, you crazy girl!" This idea, the rule of threes, came from a conversation with a recently single friend and a not so single friend that's been taken for a few years now, so you might be saying what do we know. After reading this though, I hope it all makes sense now. The rule of threes could be the rule of fours or fives or even just twos, but whatever it might be, us single girls have needs that need to be met, and until we find our Mr. Right, we will continue to have our threes(or whatever number it might be).
