conSTELLAtion: My Life in Limbo

I am a girl of many talents. Not only do I have the talent of writing(which I've been told I'm a good writer, you be the judge) and like I've mentioned in past posts I'm a fast runner, but I am also great at other things. In high school I used to play French Horn(yes I was a band nerd until sophomore year). When I lived in Florida, I was a really good line dancer (Living in NY I have yet to find a country bar so I haven't line danced in forever). I can drunk text with absolutely no typos, spelling errors and be totally grammatically correct. I can turn any song into a country song(just ask me to sing "Wanna Be a Baller" by Lil Troy). I can drive with my foot(yes I know you drive with your right foot by hitting the pedals, but I can also steer with my left foot. After commuting 2 hours a day, you teach yourself many things). At work I can scrunch woven sleeves and side stack tees like no other. One of my biggest talents though would have to be limbo. I honestly can't remember once that I might have lost a limbo contest. I remember even beating a 3 year old. I've won many prizes such as bar tabs, free bowling, gift certificates, and cash. Anytime there's a limbo contest, I'm there. As I get older though, I know there's going to be a day where I lose or hurt myself. Last year on my cruise, I won a contest at Senior Frogs but almost pulled my hip out of socket in the process. As long as I can still limbo, I'm going to keep doing it. I kind of get a rush every time I win. The people around cheering and high fiving me after I clear the pole. I seem to amaze others as well as myself.

I maybe good at limbo contests, but I feel as though my life is in limbo. Every aspect of my life I seem to be under the stick, not being able to clear the pole and move on to the next level. People are passing me as I'm at a stand still, stuck under the stick. I'm stuck playing this game of "what do I want and what am I doing in my life?" limbo.

For my career, I feel like I've cleared many levels of the stick. But here I am at the same level I've been at for a while, back arched, half way under the pole, not moving. I can either keep moving, clear the pole and succeed at what I've been working towards for years, keep trying and fall on my ass but know I at least tried, or back it up from under the stick, give up, and walk away. Which would I be giving up? There's plenty of other limbo contests out there, right? Or maybe I could try my hand at other things. What about hula hooping? Pin the tail on the donkey? Maybe apple bobbing?

Physically, my body is stuck in limbo. I'm not in that bad of shape physically, I’m usually an average of 112 lbs which I'm not looking to lose weight really. I would just like to tighten up, be tone, have more energy, and control my blood sugar better. I don't go to the gym but I do run at least 2, maybe 3 times a week and usually 4 miles each time I run. I have my days of eating healthy, but then there's days of eating mall food because I didn't have time or any food at my place to bring for my lunch. Also I have been cursed with the condition of hypoglycemia. If I eat bad and don't take care of myself, it can become bad on my body. I need to stop being lazy, get off my ass and suck it up. Not just do things just to get by but change my lifestyle to feel and look better. Be able to not just clear that limbo stick, but run under it!

Of course my life is in limbo when it comes to relationships. This wouldn't be a blog about a single girl if I didn't talk about dating and guys now would it? Lately when I've tried to go under the stick(get your minds out of the gutter!) I've fallen on my ass. Many times. And I get right back up and try again. And fallen on my ass again or really hurt myself in the process. I've come to realize my approach is all wrong. I've been trying to get to the other side of the limbo stick as fast as possible. When you move too fast, stupid mistakes happen. You twitch and bump the pole, you slip and fall, you under estimate how low you really need to go. You get cocky and don't see the other competitors that might win over you. I think I need to back it up from being under the stick, do some stretches so I don't hurt myself, and try it again, but this time slow it down. Ease under the pole and not worry about what might happen. Slow and steady wins the race, right? Just go with the flow and have fun. If I lose, oh well. There’s more contests out there. Better luck next time.

Sometimes I can take limbo(or life) too seriously. Limbo is supposed to be fun, right? But when the limbo stick is lit on fire and lower than my knees, well then sometimes I just want to say F it. I give up. But I’m not a quitter. It took me 3 years to make the cheerleading squad in high school but by golly I made the squad. And was a damn good cheerleader at that! It might be hard to see the other side of the limbo stick, especially when all eyes are on you, your back is arched and you feel like your body might just break in half, but there is another side of that pole. And once you get there, it’s an awesome feeling. High fives all around. Cheering. Clapping. Those people who thought you couldn’t do it have astonished looks on their faces. And sometimes there’s a prize. It might just be some measly little margarita or it might be a hefty load of cash. It doesn’t really matter though, as long as you succeed and get to the other side in one piece is all that matters.