Getting Jerseyfied

Tomorrow my friend Sammy and I will be embarking on a journey of a lifetime. Okay, maybe not a journey of a lifetime, but it's gonna be an epic weekend. We will be leaving LB behind and taking a little 3 hour road trip filled with me making every single song into a country song, fist pumping through the sun-roof, holding our breath once we exit the bridge from Staten Island(because it smells like shit), a mini stop at the Shore house, and a couple of gas and bathroom stops(where we won't be pumping our own gas. We don't pump gas, we pump fists!) That's right folks, Sammy is going back to her motherland and I'm going back to the state that I labeled the armpit of the U.S. We are going to dirty Jersey.

But not anywhere in Jersey. We are going to Atlantic City. I can actually say I like this city in Jersey. Me being a Vegas lover, AC is like a mini Vegas. I've only been here once when I was doing a rehab for an HCo in the area. I would work until 11 and my work friend and I would play blackjack until around 6am, take a nap and go back to work. This time I actually get to experience all that AC has to offer. We are staying at Harrah's and will be partaking in a celebration pool party with none other than Jersey's finest, Nicole "Snooki" Polizzi.

Being unemployed at the moment, I've been laying in bed all day thinking of what I need to do to get ready for this trip. What do I need to do to get Jerseylicious? I started making a list of to do's I thought I would share.

GTL. This is just a given. You gotta GTL it. But instead of G, I'm gonna get my fitness on by running on the boardwalk. It's too nice outside to be stuck inside of a gym. Plus, I don't have a gym membership yet. And you can't go to Jersey looking like a ghost, you gotta look a little like an oompa loompa.

Slut Gear. I cleaned out my closet last week and found some of my old Vegas dresses. I found one that I never wore, still with the tag on it. Why didn't I wear this dress, it's pretty frickin' cute. I tried it on yesterday and found out why. It's just too long. Yeah you can't be invited to a VIP table popping bottles wearing a dress you might could wear to church. Being a pretty crafty person, I have decided I'm gonna cut at least 5 inches off. Enough to show off the legs but not too much to where if I decide to try to fit in with the locals and do the Jersey Turnpike my goods won't come peeping out.

New Moves. last Thursday after happy hour, I decided to come up with some cool new dance moves to bring with me to Jersey. These guidos aren't gonna know what hit them! Jersey Turnpike ain't got nothing on the Cat(which turns into the Puma and then the Cougar, but don't bring out the Leopard unless you know what you're getting into), the Back Slap, and the Robot Fist Pump. You folks have no idea what I'm talking about, but I plan on demonstrating on my new camera on the road trip there. Stay tuned. It's gonna be the next new hotness of 2011. Everyone will be doing them in the clubs. To prepare these moves to be Jersey ready, I gotta practice. Practice makes perfect!

BJ Ready. I LOVE me some BJ. Alright pervs, get your minds out of the gutter. I'm talking about Blackjack. I gotta get my mind ready and get back in the zone. I will be downloading the Blackjack app for my new IPhone and preparing to make some money. Do they have a Craps app out there? I'm scared to google for what might pop up.

Hair Essentials. Sometimes I like to make my hair a little longer than it is. And going to AC, it's a must that I put my hair in. My hair though needs a bit of maintenance. It needs to be washed and re-sewn or re-glued. Maybe I should also look for my Bump-It too while I'm thinking about it.

Research. Sammy has done much research for this weekend getaway. She found out about the Snooki pool party, found out Enrigue and Pit Bull will be in town, and got our Harrah room comped. She's done a good job, although she did send me the gay/lesbian pool party fb invite that I RSVPed yes to by mistake(yeah thanks for that Sammy). I want to do some research of my own. Not only do I want to check out the nightlife of AC, but I also want to check out the day life. From my last trip to AC, I remember there was some historical elephant that I didn't get to see. I want to visit this elephant as well as see the boardwalk amongst other things I might want to experience. Being Thursday(Jersday), I will also be researching the guids of Jersey by tuning into the reality of the Jersey Shore. I'm sure I'll learn a lot.

So it looks like I got a lot to do today. Why the hell am I still here, laying in bed writing about it? It's time to get my ass up and get shit done. Time to get Jerseyfied!